I made a profile on Plenty of Fish. A few weeks ago I had a single mom heart-to-heart with Kat while she was cutting my hair. My social life revolves around a close knit group of girlfriends and an amazing mom group. I don’t have a lot of opportunities to meet new people. So even if I’m not ready to jump into a serious relationship yet, it can’t hurt to see what’s out there. I suppose it’s possible I could meet someone while chasing Leia around the zoo or the grocery store. But that sounds like a predictable romantic comedy, not my life.
It turns out there’s tons of fish in the sea. Even when I set a bunch of parameters on the advanced search page it returns hundreds of results. I think I’m a great catch (whoa, pun!), and I’m happy being single. My free time is precious, so I’m picky about who I spend it on.
I spent more time than I’ll admit flipping through pictures and profiles indulging my shallow side – “too short” “weird hair” “ridiculous outfit.” Kate reminded me that looks fade and personality is forever. It’s true. I’m sure a bunch of the profiles I rejected within 10 seconds are nice guys with potential for entertaining and meaningful conversation. But if I’m being honest there needs to be some initial physical attraction.
Here’s my observations so far:
- Cell phone self portraits in a bathroom mirror don’t highlight anyone’s assets. Same goes for pictures laying on a bed or a couch.
- A good smile goes a long way. Besides making you approachable, guys with nice teeth are sexy.
- If you send a message that just says “Hey” or “Sup girl” I’ll assume you’re sending the same thing to 158 other girls and have no conversation skills. I’m not asking for a novel introduction, but at least ask a relevant question or two.
- If I don’t respond to your initial message, I’m not interested. It would be polite to send a nice short response like “thanks for your time, but I’m not interested” – which I’ve done for a few people – but most just get deleted. Don’t worry, I get the same treatment. The first few times I sent someone a message and got crickets in return it bruised my ego.
- If you have kids, that’s great! Don’t put pictures of them on a dating site. Crop them out of the pictures you use on your profile.
- So many people list favorite activities like this… “running, hiking, kayaking, going to the gym, surfing, snowboarding, playing pool, golfing, bowling, hockey, etc.” Kudos to you super active people, where do you get the free time?! I’m not lazy by any means, but that is really intense. Although one of the perks with meeting new people is having someone to be active with, and try things out of my comfort zone. I want to learn how to surf. I’d like to take shooting lessons. I’m terrified of breaking my neck on a snowboard, but I would try it.
I feel pretty proud of myself for just putting my foot in the water and testing out the online dating thing. I guess we’ll see what happens.